i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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