Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
