Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
