dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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