I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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