If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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