Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
