Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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