I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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