New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
