Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
