found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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