Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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