I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
