I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
