I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
