I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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