How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The beer is more important than you right now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
