I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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