My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Randomize
