Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
