If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
