guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
