Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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