cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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