Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
