I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
