i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
