Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Randomize
