woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
