'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
