Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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