Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The uberlube is also flammable
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
