She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I enjoy the company of your penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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