Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
