is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
