ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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