She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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