So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize