I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
