i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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