well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize