Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
