Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
