my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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