3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize