I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
