Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
