Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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