Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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