Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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