i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
