there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize