I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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