he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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