Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
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I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
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Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED