i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial