this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
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dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??