Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
