so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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