just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
