I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
