lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
