Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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