Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
