Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
