another moral hangover. fuck.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
