we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
