if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
